19-year-old pressured to give $2k of her savings to her mother: 'She called me ungrateful and said I’m acting like a “tenant” instead of a daughter'

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  • A young woman tries to reason with her unhappy mother, who looks away.
  • [Am I wrong] for refusing to give my mom my savings after she found out how much I have?

    I'm 19F, currently in college and still living at home. I've been working part- time since I was 16 and I'm really strict about saving.
  • I don't go out much, don't buy expensive stuff, and I've managed to save a decent amount (around $4k).
  • Last week my mom asked me to log into my banking app to transfer money for groceries because her card "wasn't working." While I was doing that, she saw my total savings.
  • A young woman shows an older woman her bank account on her laptop. The older woman is shocked to see what's in there.
  • She went quiet and later that night told me that since I'm living under her roof, I should contribute more and that it's "selfish" of me to hoard money while she's struggling.
  • She asked me to give her $2k to "help the family" and said I could always earn it back.
  • The thing is, she's not unemployed or anything. She works full-time. We're not rich, but we're not in crisis either.
  • I already pay for my own school stuff, my phone bill, and sometimes groceries. I was saving that money in case I move out or for emergencies.
  • When I said I wasn't comfortable giving that much, she called me ungrateful and said I'm acting like a "tenant" instead of a daughter.
  • Now my relatives are saying I should help because "family helps family,” but I feel like she only wants it because she saw how much I had.
  • AITA for refusing to give her half my savings?
  • collaredd kinda can't believe the amount of comments acting like 19 is some crazy age to live with parents and not pay rent. my parents are poor and never asked me for a dime. she saw your account and saw a payday. if she thought maybe you should start paying rent she should have said so, but i think asking for half was telling on herself. NTA
  • Grand-Reveal-9055 Original Poster's Reply Yeah I just think its odd how she suddenly expects sm from me when she found out how much I have saved.
  • Natet 18 DO NOT GIVE HER A DIME!!! This is a big lesson you need to learn with family and growing up. You give them money once, they will keep Coming back. Forever. That's your money for college. Do not any of it to your mother.
  • afiendindenial NTA Don't give her any of your savings. $4k is NOT much money at all. Keep your head down, save up, and move out is my suggestion.
  • I-Am-Medusa Nta It's so weird to see the comments saying you should be paying rent and stuff. You're in school. Parents are supposed to lead their children to a good future. My parents were not rich at all but always told us that we could live at home for free while we were in school But it seems people think that a parents' job stops at a random age instead of a growth Where I live parents have to contribute as long as the child actually studies (not just party and fail). It's even calculated i
  • Historical-Problem-8 NTA. Your saving it for emergencies. That's a good reason. You're 19 and being responsible. She's trying to punish you for being good with your money. The "earn it back" things sounds like a lie.
  • thrusty8 NTA. By demanding it, she is the one treating you like a tenant (not like a daughter). She is showing you that her present greed outweighs your future. When people show you their true colours, believe them.
  • PrincessHurlilio NTA. You're 19 and in college. Do not give her half. Her saying you can earn it back is ridiculous. If you have to agree to sending her a small amount each month to smooth things over, so be it.
  • indicus23 NTA and start looking at on campus housing if your school offers it.
  • pattypph1 You're 19 and your mom is a leech.

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